On Meeting Men (Who Want To Date Me Srsly)
HELLO MY NAME IS ELISA AND I AM A SINGLE MOM. YUP, THAT MEANS I HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND CREATED A LIFE AND I AM HER MOTHER AND SOMEWHERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY IS HER FATHER, WHO IS MY EX-BOYFRIEND AND WHO I DO TEND TO TALK TO. I HAVE MINIMAL TIME TO HANG OUT BETWEEN TRYING TO BE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD, WORK, PLAY AND GETTING MY LIFE TOGETHER. I HAVE STRETCH MARKS AND COULD AFFORD TO LOSE A FEW POUNDS. I DON’T EXPECT YOU TO FINANCIALLY SUPPORT ME OR MY DAUGHTER AND NO, YOU CAN’T JUST ACT LIKE MY DAUGHTER DOESN’T EXIST AND EXPECT THIS TO WORK OUT.
This is how I should start every conversation with every guy who tries to pick me up or any guy who seems interested in just more then getting down. I should have that written on a business card to hand out with my number. Now wait, don’t get me wrong, I am not starved for a relationship or anything like that. Single mommy is great, I do what I want and I don’t have the stresses of trying to fit in ‘alone time’ with someone in my already hectic schedule. However, I like the idea of seeing someone and feeling like I’m involved in a successful adult relationship. I’ve met a lot of really nice guys over the last few years but it’s ultimately not worked out.
I don’t hide anything from anyone about my life, I like to lay it all out there and it cuts the dating pool by 3/4 right off the bat. Men are interesting like that. Sure if you want to fuck they are all for that but anything more, with someone who has a child, seems like a daunting road they do not want to take.
Now wait, all my experiences haven’t been terrible. I’m still friendly with a guy or two that I had been seeing for a time. I think I just ultimately get to a point where I tell myself that this isn’t going to happen or where they make it obvious this is something they can’t deal with. In the past, I’ve stopped seeing people because they didn’t like that I was still talking to my daughters dad (about Capri, not in a romantic way), or because they didn’t think I was spending enough time with them, or this one time, this guy was actually phenomenal except for the fact that he liked to pretend Capri didn’t exist. Didn’t express any interest in her at all.
There’s the door, buddy. Peace.
It’s one of those things you can’t rush but this morning a friend sent me a link for www.singleparentmeet.com and I thought FML is this how desperate my friends think I am. Not that I’m going to knock online dating, for all of you my lovely readers, but it really is not my style. I am far more social and charming in person then I could ever be online.
At any rate, there is lots of time. I am only 25 and although sometimes the thought of ending up all alone scares the shit out of me I’m confident enough that I can make something happen. I always do!
Elisa
